Catch Me, I'm Yours
by Slushieofthedesert
Summary: Kurt feels that the Warblers need help letting loose, so he enlists the help of New Directions to do so. And thus a recount of the history of New Directions begins. And how does this help Blaine figure out his feelings? Klaine and Finchel
1. Chapter 1

Hey! I wanted to write a giant review of the Glee series while still accomplishing a way I originally imagined Klaine getting together.

I do not own Glee or any of the songs used in this fic. They belong to their respective owners

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><p>"Comment vous appelez-vous ?(1)" "Ummm….me llamo es Blaine.(2)"<p>

"Blaine, that's Spanish."

"Oh….really?"

Kurt scoffed at his bushy browed friend and rolled his eyes. "It's no wonder you're failing French…"

Blaine turned and met the other boy's glasz eyes, "At least I have the best tutor in the school to help me", he replied with a smirk, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

Kurt shoved Blaine with his shoulders and laughed. "Youre chanceux vous êtes mignons.(3)"

Blaine's forehead furrowed. "What does that mean?"

Kurt giggled and winked, "I guess you'll have to learn French then."

"No fair!" Blaine whined, "You did that on purpose!"

Kurt reached over and grabbed Blaine's french notes, making a face when he saw the scrawl on the page, "Blaine! I can't make out a word of this. How can you read your handwriting?"

"I manage." Blaine stated with a grin, "Now give them back!" He reached out for his notes, but Kurt managed to pull away from Blaine, getting out of his chair and waving it in front of the brunette's face. Blaine jumped out of his chair and leaped at Kurt, who once again avoided capture, fleeing to the other side of the commons area they were studying in. Kurt ran around the couch, putting it in between him and Blaine, but Blaine had other ideas. Blaine ran towards the couch and jumped over it, landing directly beside Kurt.

As soon as Kurt realized what was happening, he started to move again, but Blaine was too fast and grabbed Kurt by the shoulders, spinning him around so they were face to face.

"Gotcha." He breathed.

Kurt froze, realizing immediately the small proximity between him and Blaine. He blushed a tomato red, as hazel eyes met blue. Blaine lifted his hand and lightly touched Kurt's cheek with the back of it, causing the younger boy to take a sharp inward breath. Kurt began to panic and pulled away, leaving a confused expression on Blaine's face. Gathering his stuff, Kurt managed to stutter out a simple sentence before sprinting out of the commons room as fast as possible.

"I-I have to go."

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><p>A few hours later, Blaine was walking through the halls before Warbler's practice when he heard what sounded like a female voice coming from the practice room. He snuck closer to the door and pressed his ear up next to it, hoping to get a part of the conversation.<p>

"So White Boy, what's up? I'm missing my tots cuz of you so it better be good."

"I'm okay 'Cedes, but I just needed to vent."

"What did prep boy do this time? I swear if he hurt-"

"Mercedes! He didn't do anything! That's the problem. We had a moment and I chickened out."

"Oh, Kurt…"

"I'm so pathetic, there's a reason I can't find love. First with Finn and now with Blaine. Mercedes, what's wrong with me?"

Blaine perked up. Kurt was in there? And talking to Mercedes, about him.

"Boo, you love him"

"Yeah, I know."

Blaine's eyes widened. Kurt loved him? Him? There wasn't any way that Kurt could like him like that…..right?

"Kurt, why don't you do what you always do when you are sad?"

"Well I do have a new song I found online. I was gonna perform it for you anyways…."

"Go right on ahead boo, I'm listening."

Blaine listened closer to see if he could recognize the song. He listened to Kurt sing the first verse in a sad, wistful tone.

_Before I fall too fast_

_ Kiss me quick, but make it last_

_ So I can see how badly this will hurt me_

_ When you say goodbye_

_ Keep it sweet, keep it slow_

_ Let the future pass, and don't let go_

_ But tonight I could fall too soon_

_ Into this beautiful moonlight_

Blaine felt horrible. Kurt was singing about him, more specifically, how afraid he was of rejection and getting left behind. Blaine listened some more.

_But you're so hypnotizing_

_ You've got me laughing while I sing, you've got me smiling in my sleep_

_ And I can see this unraveling_

_ Your love is where I'm falling, but please don't catch me_

Blaine was confused. Kurt was affected so much by Blaine, but didn't want to be loved back? Blaine couldn't get his head around the idea.

_See this heart won't settle down_

_ Like a child running scared from a clown_

_ I'm terrified of what you do_

_ My stomach screams just when I look at you_

_ Run far away so I can breathe_

_ Even though you're far from suffocating me_

_ I can't set my hopes too high_

_ 'Cause every hello ends with a goodbye_

Blaine's heart dropped when he heard that verse. Kurt was afraid of loving him, and that's why he was so upset. It made Blaine just a little more depressed. How had he been so oblivious?

_ But you're so hypnotizing_

_ You've got me laughing while I sing, you've got me smiling in my sleep_

_ And I can see this unraveling_

_ Your love is where I'm falling, but please don't catch me_

_ So now you see why I'm scared_

_ I can't open up my heart without a care_

_ But here I go, it's what I feel_

_ And for the first time in my life I know it's for real_

Suddenly, the music picked up, taking on a rockish tone to it.

_But you're so hypnotizing_

_ You've got me laughing while I sing, you've got me smiling in my sleep_

_ And I can see this unraveling_

_ Your love is where I'm falling so please don't catch me_

_If this is love, please don't break me_

_ I'm giving up so just catch me_

Blaine let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding as the music stopped. He leaned against the door, his head reeling. What did this all mean?

Applause from inside the practice room pulled Blaine out of his thoughts.

"That was great. Not usually your style, but you pulled it off."

"Thank you. I feel a lot better now."

"Sorry to crash your party but I have to go. Glee starts in five. Are we still up for the plan?"

"Yeah, make sure everyone is ready in about fifteen minutes."

Blaine's interest was piqued. What was this 'plan'?

Unfortunately, he didn't have long to think about it because the footsteps of the other Warblers were rapidly approaching, indicating that rehearsal was about to begin. So Blaine opened up the doors of the practice room and sat down.

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><p>"Order! Order!" Wes shouted at the teenagers who were chattering away, to no avail. Lifting his gavel he slammed it onto the desk, bringing the boys to attention with a loud bang.<p>

"I'd like to order this Warbler meeting in session." Wes announced, looking to David, who continued.

"Are there any orders of business we need to attend to before we begin rehearsal?" David asked, scanning the room.

Wanting rehearsal, which usually lasted upwards of 4 hours on occasion, to end quickly, the members of the Warblers were not eager to bring forth any new business. So when one hand was raised at David's question, many of them groaned in frustration.

"Yes, Warbler Kurt? You may have the floor."

Kurt stood up and made his way to the front of the room, taking his laptop with him. Once he had all eyes on him, he started to speak.

"As you all know, I am fairly new to this school" he began, "I have spent a few months watching the structure and talent of the Warblers and I have come to the conclusion that the Warbler's will be lucky to even place at Regionals this year."

Cries of outrage and confusion quickly rose up as the Warblers voices their dissent. Wes's cries of order and the banging of the gavel quickly brought that to an end, though.

"Thank you Wes." Kurt continued, "It is not that the Warblers are not in possession of talent. The truth is that with Sue Sylvester now coaching Aural Intensity, they will be a tough competitor. But New Directions is quickly moving away from an underdog status to a respected and accepted glee club, and that is what we need to worry about."

"You're just biased. Didn't you transfer from McKinley?" Thad, one of the counsel members asked.

"Yes, Thad, I am from McKinley originally, but that is beside the point." Kurt said pointedly, "There is one thing that New Directions has that we don't. Passionate emotion. Although the Warblers are very serious about the way songs are rehearsed, we can still let loose every once and a while. But when competition rolls around, all we can do is sway from side to side. New Directions puts their all into EVERY performance. They dance, sing, and perform as if it was the last time they could ever perform, which is always a possibility. Every week they have an assignment that tests their abilities as a singer and bonds them with the other members. They don't even pick competition songs until the week before . They are focused on individuality and make sure everyone gets the spotlight once in awhile, which seems to be unheard of here." At this Kurt sent a glare towards Blaine, who blushed and looked away.

"So I propose a plan to fix this dilemma. I have contacted my peers still at McKinley and they have graciously agreed to teach us how to relax."

"What if we don't think we need it?" Wes asked from the counsel table.

"I figured you'd say something like that" Kurt retorted. "So I decided to let them convince you."

He turned toward his laptop and clicked around a little bit. Soon the faces of New Directions came into view.

"Hey Mercedes, Rachel, everybody." Kurt greeted, "You guys have the floor."

The Warblers gathered around the small laptop to hear what the other glee club had to say.

Rachel spoke first. "I see your club has finally decided to seek out our expertise. Although we are upset you took one of our most talented members from us, there are still plenty of us left, and we are willing to teach you what we know."

"And how do you propose we do this?" David asked skeptically.

"We have that already figured out." Mercedes interjected, "We ask that your glee club meet us in the McKinley High Auditorium at 8 am on Saturday for a jam session. We will teach you what we know, and then you can teach us some things."

"Isn't that against the rules of the competition?" Jeff, one of the junior Warblers asked.

"On the contrary, as long as we are not releasing what songs we plan on performing at competition, we can collaborate and mingle all we like" Rachel responded, "So are we going to do this or what?"

Kurt looked towards the counsel, who conversed amongst themselves for a few seconds, then nodded at Kurt. "Yes, we are." Kurt told Rachel.

"Great! See you then!" Rachel said before logging out.

Attention was then turned towards the counsel. Wes raised his gavel, "Alright. Warblers are to meet at McKinley High Auditorium on Saturday at 8am sharp." He banged his gavel on the table, making official. "Moving on…"

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><p>So that is the first chapter!<p>

(1)- What is your name? (French)

(2)-My name is Blaine (Spanish)

(3)- You're lucky you're cute (French)

Sorry if the translations are inaccurate, I took Latin and Spanish so I have no idea about the French.

See that button, push it! You know you want to review!


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey All!**

**I'm sorry I haven't posted lately. I was on vacation and couldn't write. I also move in to college in a few weeks so it might be a little bit before I update again. **

**In other news I got a Twitter account, which can be accessed here: /#!/DanniHutchison.**

**Call Me Mad: He's Blaine! He can't be perfect.**

**Helen: Thanks! I never took French so I had to look it up online.**

**Anyways, here's chapter 2!**

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><p>That Saturday at 8, the Warblers found themselves walking through the front doors of William McKinley High School. Some, like Wes and David, carried themselves in a diplomatic way, seeing this as a business meeting rather than a jam session, as it had been dubbed. Others stared in amazement at the differences between their schools. One of the younger boys even went into the bathrooms to check and see if they were different. The group moved in sync towards the other side of the school, where Kurt was waiting for them in front of the auditorium. He started to wave at first, but stopped when he saw what the prep students were wearing.<p>

"You DO realize you can wear street clothes here, right?" Kurt said apprehensively, eyeing the boys, all of whom, save for Blaine, were wearing their Dalton uniforms.

A couple of the Daltonites looked down at their outfits, as if questioning what else they should have worn.

"Really, sometimes I wonder if you own anything besides your uniforms," Kurt sighed, "Anyway, welcome to the April Rhodes Civic Center." He turned with his arms open as if to say "ta-da!"

A couple of the boys began to murmur, and Blaine sent a questioning look to Kurt's back. Kurt turned around and sent a look back that meant "Long story."

Kurt seemingly got a sudden jolt of excitement and walked towards the door, gesturing for the Warblers to follow him, "Come on, it's showtime."

As soon as the door opened, the Warblers got a blast of sound thrown at them, and a eyeful of activity. Rachel was standing on the stage, lecturing about proper voice care while no one listened. Santana and Brittany were in a corner braiding each others hair,and Puck was sweet-talking Lauren a few seats over in a futile attempt for her to have sex with him. Quinn was in the front row scolding Finn, who looked absolutely terrified, while Mike, Sam, and Artie were discussing videogames a couple rows back, and Mercedes and Tina were close by gossiping about who knows what. Rachel saw the boys first, and let out a squeal: "KURT!"

At the sound of his name, all the girls of New Directions, excluding Lauren, perked up and quickly made their way to the back of the auditorium to greet the guests.

Brittany reached them first and hugged Kurt before pulling him into a sloppy kiss, much to the shock of the boys behind him. Brittany pulled away with a smile. "Your lips are still soft Kurtsie. Are all of these boys dolphins like you?" '

Many of the Warblers looked at Kurt in confusion for an answer to what just happened, but Kurt just chuckled and replied, "And yours still taste like Root Beer, and no, Brittany, most of them aren't dolphins."

Brittany looked confused for a second, but quickly recovered and stepped away as Kurt was bombarded with hugs and kisses on the cheek from the other girls in the club.

The Warblers stood there in awe watching their fellow Daltonite's interactions with the females. At one point Jeff leaned over to Nick and whispered: "Damn, the boy gets more play than we do, and he bats for the other team!"

Nick leaned back over and whispered back. "Maybe he isn't as gay as we thought he was…"

Blaine, who was standing in front of them, felt a sudden burning in his heart. 'Is Kurt bi? No, he couldn't be, not after how he reacted to my crisis. Maybe he experimented with them before he came out. Yeah, that's it probably. But then why does it make me feel so upset?'

After the general introductions had been done, both groups of performers found their way to some seats. Blaine looked on with envy as Kurt went to sit with New Directions instead of him and the Warblers, but hid it as Rachel walked on the stage and pulled down a projector screen.

"I thought the best way to begin our jam session is to go back to the beginning of New Directions at the beginning of last year. As some of you know, New Directions was not the beginning of a glee club at McKinley High. It was originally run by a man named Sandy Ryerson, who was fired for mysterious reasons."

A picture of Sandy showed on the screen, and many of the inhabitants visibly cringed, even more so when Brittany mentioned that she thought Mr. Ryerson was 'A dolphin who wanted to have sex with baby sharks'. But attention was returned to the screen as Rachel continued.

"Mr. Shuester took over the job as Glee Club director and renamed it New Directions-"

"hehe….Nude Erections," one of the boys from Dalton chortled, causing the entire group of teenagers to bust into laughter. Rachel cut them off to finish what she was saying.

"As I was saying, before I was so RUDELY interrupted, Mr. Shuester took over the job as Glee director, and soon five people became part of the glee club."

"Lemme guess," Wes interjected. "Starberry, Wheels, Goth Asian, Choco Thunder, and Wrestlemania, right?"

"Almost," Rachel corrected. "Lauren is actually the newest member of the club, she took Kurt's spot after he left."

"But then who was the fifth member?"

Rachel smirked. "I see. You don't know as much about us as you thought you did. Well, how about the original members come up on stage for these prep boys to see?"

The Warblers watched as Artie wheeled himself on stage, followed behind by Tina, Mercedes, and Finn.

"So it was Finn then?" David asked.

"Wrong again."

The Daltonites snapped to the source of the voice, which was none other than Kurt himself. "Finn was the sixth member to join."

"Yeah, Mr. Shue kinda blackmailed me into joining, but I ended up liking it, so I stayed."

"Anyways, the fifth member to be in New Directions was yours truly" Kurt said as he stepped up onto the stage, eliciting an audible gasp from the Warblers.

"I knew you were an early member of New Directions, but you never mentioned you were an ORIGINAL member!" David exclaimed.

"You never asked."

"Moving on," Rachel announced, "Each of us had to audition to get into the club. Personally, I sang the song 'On My Own' from the seminal Broadway classic, Les Mis."

"I sang 'RESPECT' by a diva named Aretha Franklin" Mercedes added.

"I'm not telling you my audition song, it would ruin the secret to my badassness" Artie explained, earning a thumbs up from Puck.

"I sang 'I Kissed A Girl' by Katy Perry" Tina mumbled, but brightened when Mike gave her a reassuring look.

"And I sang 'Mr. Cellophane' from Chicago" Kurt finished.

"And so, New Directions was born." Rachel declared. "But at the beginning, New Directions wasn't as great as it is now."

"In fact, we downright sucked." Mercedes commented, "Our attempt at 'Sit Down You're Rocking The Boat' was worse than Finn's performance of 'You're Having My Baby' in front of Quinn's family."

"Hey! Kurt told me to!" "I told you to sing it while you were in the bathroom you idiot, not to her face!"

"Settle down!" Rachel told the arguing stepbrothers before turning back to the 'audience', "But then Finn joined the group, and there we got our first glimpse of greatness"

"It was the first time we actually sounded good" Kurt said matter-of-factly, "But Rachel went a little crazy."

"No I didn't" Rachel retorted.

"You touched my hair." Kurt pointed out dryly.

"You groped me" Tina muttered"

And you almost pushed me off the stage" Artie whined.

"Okay so maybe I was a LITTLE overenthusiastic" Rachel admitted, "But I was excited. I thought that with Finn on the team we wouldn't get slushied anymore."

"What do you mean by 'slushied'" Trent asked from the back of the group. Rachel made an annoyed face and glared at Kurt. "Kurt! Did you even bother to brief them of the basics before coming here?"

"No." Kurt replied shortly.

"You are hopeless. Anyway, getting slushied is when someone throws a slushie in your face. It stains your clothes and you get corn syrup in your eyes for the rest of the day" Rachel remarked.

"That sounds painful" Thad said, making a face.

"You have no idea" Finn agreed.

"We thought we were amazing. We didn't know how wrong we were until we went on a field trip to Carmel High…" Mercedes ominously declared.

"Wait! That's where ya'll went that day?" Puck yelled. "We knew you lied about your mom getting her prostate out, but you never told us where you went."

"Dude," Nick said, "Chicks don't have prostates."

"Moving On" Rachel diverted, gritting her teeth.

"We hadn't heard of Vocal Adrenaline before...in fact, we initially thought that we could take them" Tina started, "But we were severely disillusioned.""

"They were great…..really great" Artie reflected, "For a while we thought that was the end of Glee Club, and we resented ever seeing them perform".

"And I never got my sourpatch kids" Finn lamented sadly.

"Then, if it wasn't bad enough, Mr. Shue's crazy wife said she was pregnant and he left, followed shortly by Finn" Kurt narrated, "Then Rachel took over, which was better than nothing, I guess, but it was still upleasant"

"One particular day, Finn walked into our rehearsal and things began to fall back together" Tina followed, "He apologized for doing any horrible things to us…"

"Like throwing eggs, " Rachel interrupted.

"Or pee balloons" Kurt added, "Or nailing lawn furniture to my roof."

"He got us moving, and we quickly put our first real performance together. And it brought Mr. Shuester back" Tina continued.

"OH! I just remembered something! Rachel yelled, "After my weekly 6:30 warm-up and practice in the auditorium, I found this box backstage." She pulled a box out of the wings that was almost as big as she was. She opened it up and pulled out some red shirts and jeans.

"Our costumes!" Tina and Mercedes squealed.

"I take it this is our cue to perform for everyone?" Kurt questioned.

"That it is" Rachel replied with a grin. "Let's go change."

As the original glee clubbers went backstage to change, Blaine sat there staring straight ahead. He was dumbfounded. He thought he knew everything about Kurt, but he knew almost nothing in reality about the countertenor. When he heard the beginning chords of "Don't Stop Believin'", he looked up, desperate to understand what was going on.

The first thing Blaine noticed was that the main chords were being sung, rather than played. He saw five members of the glee club lined up upstage and that one by one they were stepping forward. Kurt was first, followed by Mercedes, then Tina, then Rachel. Finn stepped forward and began to sing while rest of the group slapped their legs to the beat.

_Just a small town girl_

_Livin in a lonely world_

_She took the midnight train_

_Going anywhere_

Then Rachel stepped forward and took over.

_Just a city boy_

_Born and raised in South Detroit_

_He took the midnight train_

_Going anywhere_

At this Rachel and Finn reached towards each other while Artie began to shred the guitar solo over stage left with the jazz band. The three background members threw their arms in the air, made a fist, then brought it back down. Finn began singing again after that.

_A singer in a smoky room_

Then Rachel walked up beside everyone and picked up

_The smell of wine and cheap perfume_

The two of them walked toward each other and spun around, their arms wrapped around the other's waist, though Blaine noticed that they were distant, and awkward about their dancing. Kurt, Mercedes, and Tina walked up to form a group around them.

_For a smile _

_They can share the night_

_It goes on and on and on and on_

The group rocked out in the middle of the stage whilst singing.

_Strangers, waiting_

_Up and down the boulevard_

_Their shadows searching in the night_

_Street Light, people _

_Living just to find emotion_

Mercedes, Kurt, and Tina walked back to where three microphones were sitting and leaned them down, singing into them, while Finn and Rachel slowly raised their left arms into the air.

_Hiding somewhere in the night_

Finn ran over and took over the drums, while Rachel followed and started the next verse.

_Working hard to get my fill_

The three at the mics did a fist pump on the beat

_Everybody wants a thrill._

They turned so they were facing stage right with the mics in front of them

_Paying anything to roll the dice _

_Just one more time._

Finn got up to sing with Rachel, while Tina, Mercedes, and Kurt danced behind the microphones and then moved to one mic in the center.

_Some will win_

_Some will lose_

_Some were born to sing the blues_

Finn grabbed Rachel's hand and they slowly pulled away from each other while Rachel backed toward the band.

_And now the movie never ends_

_It goes on and on and on and on_

Rachel spun and Tina ran behind her to spin Artie around in his wheelchair while he played the guitar.

_Don't stop believin'_

_Hold on to that feeling_

Rachel and Finn faced each other while the others walked in between the gaps.

_Street Light _

_People_

All of the club members raised their right arms in the air.

_Don't stop believin'_

_Hold on to that feeling_

_Street Light _

_People_

They all walked back, staggering themselves into a diagonal line.

_Don't stop!_

They all bowed their heads as the final note rang out. There was a pregnant pause before applause broke out. The Dalatonites were amazed. This small ragtag group of people had enough talent with only six people to give them a run for their money.

"I see, New Direction's had a rough and dramatic start" Blaine commented, avoiding Kurt's gaze, "But it got better didn't it? I mean you have more members now, right?"

All of the people on stage looked amongst each other, smirked, then yelled in unison.

"WRONG!"

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><p><strong>See that button there? You see it? Yeah, you want to push it. You want to review, don't you?<strong>


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey everybody!**

**Sorry I take so long to update. This chapter took FOREVER! I had to rewrite it so many times and it was still awkward. **

**I also move into my college dorm this Thursday, so updates might be irregular and infrequent, but I am determined to see this story to the end.**

**On a happier note, has anyone seen the Glee 3D Movie? (Darren Criss/Chris Colfer in 3D ZOMG sdjfhwelsgflsdgldsh)**

**oh...and I want a mini-Warbler.**

**Anywhoo, enjoy!**

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><p>"WRONG!"<p>

"Unlike the Warblers, who are considered the rock stars of the school," Kurt began to explain, "at McKinley, Glee Club is the lowest of the low. We are the only ones who get slushied, and the entire school hates us."

"Except when we perform at assemblies. Then we are like rock stars" Brittany elaborated, "It's totally because of me and San."

"Anyway," Mercedes took over, "Even after Finn joined, no one else wanted to be anywhere near the Glee Club. And we were sort of okay with that, that is, until Mr. Shue decided we were going to perform at our first pep assembly."

"It was horrible" Rachel said, "He was insistent that we do disco. And the choreography was atrocious."

At this, Rachel took it upon herself to demonstrate how bad the dance was, and was soon stoped my Mercedes again.

"Aw hell to the no! I told you if you tried to bust my face again, Berry, I would cut you!" Mercedes yelled. She made a lunge at Rachel but was held back by Kurt.

"Mercedes, you are reverting back to that dramatic, Technicolor zebra again." Kurt chastised, earning a glare from the girl in question.

"Hater. You are still trying to copy me" Mercedes accused, trying to fight off a smile.

Kurt lightly smiled back as Rachel began to narrate again.

"So we were sure that we were going to die at the pep assembly, but then we got a brief glimmer of hope when Mr. Shue performed Kanye West's 'Goldigger' with us."

"Wait a second," Wes interjected, "Your teacher sung with you? Is that normal?"

"Well technically I was supposed to have the solo, but at the time I was still learning how to walk and sing at the same time, so Mr. Shuester took over the solo for me." Finn answered.

"Finn, you STILL don't know how to walk and sing at the same time" Kurt said affectionately, patting Finn on the back.

Blaine felt a small wave if insecurity bubble up inside. He knew Kurt had had a crush on his stepbrother in the past. What if it had never actually disappeared?

Sensing his discomfort, David reached forward and put his hand on Blaine's shoulder.

"Chill. It's just a brotherly gesture."

Blaine sighed and tuned back in to what was going on onstage. Apparently they had moved from Finn's lack of multitasking to Quinn's belief that his being in Glee Club would label her as a gay beard.

"After Quinn chewed me out for minding my own business by my locker-" Rachel began, only to be interrupted by Quinn.

"You were eavesdropping ManHands, and you know it."

"No, you just assumed that I was trying to one up you and steal your boyfriend"

"You were!"

"No, I may have had feelings for him, but I am an honorable person, I won't go out of my way to seduce him"

"Yeah right."

"At least I didn't offer to let him get to second base so he'd quit the club."

"So you were eavesdropping!"

"Actually, you were so loud about it I'm surprised Coach Sylvester hadn't heard you"

"THAT'S IT!" At that, Quinn made a move to attack Rachel, only to be stopped by Finn getting in between them.

"STOP! We aren't here to fight" Finn protested, "I didn't come here to watch you two attack each other and end up in the guidance office again."

"I'll have you know I've only been to the guidance office once" Rachel pointed out.

"Really? I would of thought you would have seen her weekly to overcome your crazy." Quinn snidely retorted.

"If you must know, Quinn, Ms. Pillsbury had me come to her office when she caught me trying to throw up in the bathroom. She then tried to lecture me about bulimia. She even gave me a pamphlet." Rachel replied with a glare.

"Why were you throwing up?" Nick asked from the house.

"I wasn't throwing up. I don't have a gag reflex, apparently." Rachel replied offhandedly, not noticing the suggestive looks all the men in the room, sans Kurt and Blaine, were giving each other, "I was gross and I'll never do it again. All I wanted to do was be thinner, and prettier like Quinn. Then maybe someone would like me."

Everyone was taken back. Not a single soul was prepared for Rachel to be so brutally honest. Wiping a tear from her eye, Rachel took a breath and continued as if nothing happened.

"Anyway, a few days later I was in the principal's office after Finn and I got caught using the cheerio's copier."

"Coach Sylvester said something about 'hobbling', whatever that is" Finn added.

"What possessed you to do something so stupid?" Santana asked the two, "Coach is crazy protective of cheerio funds and anything bought with those funds."

"Well, Finn was worried about having to perform a solo at the pep assembly in front of his chromosomally-challenged friends. I was immediately concerned by his lack of self-esteem and made a creative, preemptive strike."

"Yeah, pretty much what she said."

"So Principal Figgins made us pay for the copies we made and we were on our way. Though Mr. Shue was still adamant that we do disco." Rachel continued, "then, in an attempt to understand my peers and come to an understanding, I joined the celibacy club."

"The what club?" Jeff pondered aloud.

"The Celibacy Club, you know, no sex?" Rachel hinted, "which is ironic since the club was run by the cheerios, and in the end, none of you stayed celibate."

"Watch it Stubbles" Quinn growled, still being held back by Finn.

"After one meeting, I was shocked at the way things were run. After all, it has been proven that celibacy doesn't work in high schools. Hormones drive everyone crazy. That's why girls want sex as much as guys do." Rachel lectured.

"Is that accurate?" Trent asked in awe.

"But, the celibacy club meeting gave me an idea." Rachel said, "The next day, I paid a freshman to ask Mr. Shuester for help with irregular verbs. Then I called an emergency meeting of the Glee Club."

"Sounds like something Wes would do" Trent commented with a laugh, causing the head council member to turn red.

"I thought it would be a great idea to attract potential new members by giving them what they wanted"

"What? Blood?" David joked.

"Better…sex" Rachel answered with a smirk, motioning for the other five on stage to grab another set of costumes out of the box and head backstage, "Now if you all will excuse us for a minute or two, we need to prepare for another performance."

As the six members prepared backstage, the Warblers looked amongst themselves, then to the remaining members of New Directions, who were completely ignoring them. Nick was the first to speak up and try to make a conversation.

"Sooo…I think that Rachel girl is cute. Is she single?"

Blaine began to laugh, "Trust me, you don't even wanna touch that. She's crazy. Talented, but crazy."

"I don't know about Berry" Wes said skeptically, "But that Mercedes is one diva I wouldn't mind hanging around. You think Kurt could introduce me?"

Nick stood up and started to walk towards the stage. Jeff grabbed his arm, "Dude, where are you going?"

"I'm gonna go ask Rachel out." Nick calmly answered.

* * *

><p>Nick entered the back hallway behind the stage, looking for where the members of New Directions were getting ready. He paused outside a door where he heard voices.<p>

"Finn, I know that we have had our struggles this past year. But I would appreciate it if we could set that awkwardness aside when we perform so that the overall quality of our performances will not differ greatly from the originals."

"Uh…sure Rach. I guess I can do that."

"Good. Now get out. A star like me needs special preparation"

Nick tried to back away, but wasn't fast enough and the door opened to reveal Finn.

"Um. Hi. Aren't you one of the Garglers…or Chortlers…or whatever? Why are you back here?" Finn asked with an incredibly confused look.

"Hi. Yes, I am a Warbler. I'm Nick" Nick introduced himself, extending his hand to Finn, who took it without a word. "I'm here to talk to Rachel."

"Well Rachel is doing her special preparations" Finn hesitated "Why do you want to talk to her?"

Nick was unfazed by Finn's interrogation. Instead he grinned and changed the subject.

"So Finn, what was your first impression of Rachel?"

"Well at first I thought she was kinda insane, she talks a lot more than she should, and to be honest I checked under my bed to make sure she wasn't hiding out under there." Finn rambled, "But then I heard her sing. It touched something in me. I looked at her differently after that."

"Do you still love her?" Nick asked, genuinely curious, if this was going where he thought it was, then he had a better plan.

"I don't know anymore" Finn said, his eyes clouded over, "I mean, I still care about her, but I don't know if I can forget what she did to me"

Nick smirked. 'Bingo.'

"So you won't mind if I maybe asked her out?" Nick inquired slyly.

The nervous look on Finn's face was enough to let Nick know that his attentions would be better paid elsewhere. Taking this as his cue, Nick winked at Finn, whose hands formed into fists, and walked off.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile back in the auditorium, Blaine was starting to worry. He couldn't see Kurt ever have agreeing to a song about sex. Kurt didn't know anything about sex, much less how to be sexy. And Blaine would know. He had seen Kurt try to be sexy….and it wasn't pretty.<p>

Blaine turned around in his seat to the rest of the Warblers. "Guys, please don't laugh at Kurt, he really is trying and I don't want to hurt his self-esteem and-"

"Shush" David scolded, "The song is starting.

Blaine returned his attention to the stage, where the lights were dimmed on the tableau created by the performers. Spotlights suddenly shone on the group as they sprung to life.

_Get up on this!_

'Oh no. Not this song, anything but this song' Blaine thought, 'There's no way Kurt can pull off this song.'_  
>Get up on this!<em>

The girls got up from their spots and strutted to stage right, then putting their hands over their hearts and thrusting forward with their chests.

Oooh, baby, baby  
>Baby, baby<p>

The boys walked stage left, pointing to the girls as they did so._  
>Oooh, baby, baby<br>Baby, baby_

Blaine watched as the Kurt ran his hands down his body, and…

'Well…damn.'

Get up on this!

Meanwhile, the girls had formed a train walk, which transformed into them doing booty rolls across the stage.

Ow! Baby!  
>Salt and Pepa's here!<p>

The group got into another formation, with Artie in the front, Mercedes and Tina flanking the sides, and the others in the back._  
>This dance ain't for everybody<br>Only the sexy people_

Artie positioned his hands above Mercedes and Tina's butts as they moved up and down._  
>So all you fly mothers, get on out there and dance<br>Dance, I said!_

Artie's wheelchair turned around, and Rachel took over the first verse._  
>Salt and Pepa's here, and we're in effect<br>Want you to push it, babe  
>Coolin' by day then at night working up a sweat<br>C'mon girls, let's go show the guys that we know  
>How to become number one in a hot party show<br>Now push it_

The girls began to walk forward, slapping the sides of their hands on their thighs, then moving their hands up to their chests and thrusting forward. They then rubbed their hands on their thighs as they bent down before snapping up again.

_Ah, push it - push it good  
>Ah, push it - push it real good<br>Ah, push it - push it good  
>Ah, push it - p-push it real good<em>

Hey! Ow!  
>Push it good!<p>

The groupthen started randomly pelvic thrusting into each other in different formations.

By this point Blaine's jaw was slack. He didn't know what to think, considering he was sure the Kurt he knew had the sexual ability of a baby-penguin. And this Kurt was DEFINITELY not the Kurt he knew.

_Yo, baby-pop  
>Yeah, you come here, gimme a kiss<em>

Finn made his way to stage left and Tina ground up on him. He then made his way down through the girls, dancing suggestively with each one._  
>Better make it fast or else I'm gonna get pissed<br>Can't you hear the music's pumpin' hard like I wish you would?  
>Now push it<br>_

He reached the end of the line where he high fived Kurt who then…

'OH. MY. GOD.'

"Did Kurt just slap Finn's butt?" Blaine vaguely heard Wes whisper to David.

_Ah, push it  
>Push it good<em>

_Ah, push it  
>Push it real good<em>

_Ah, push it  
>Push it good<em>

_Ah, push it  
>P-push it real good<br>_

Each of the members started dancing their own personal dance. While some of the audience paid attention to Rachel, and Finn. Blaine was too busy watching Kurt.

'What is he doin- oh lord. Undapper thoughts! Dead puppies, Wes and David in lingerie, NAKED RACHEL BERRY!'_  
>Ah, push it<br>Get up on this!_

Rachel, Tina, and Kurt got down on all floors and began crawling across the stage. The Warblers turned their attention from the stage for a second to look at Blaine, who was frozen in his seat.

_Ah, push it  
>Get up on this!<em>

"Do ya think he's dead?" Jeff asked.

_Ah, push it  
>Get up on this!<em>

"I dunno" Nick responded, "Maybe we should poke him."

_Ah, push it_

THUD!

_Ah, push it!_

"Unggghhh"

The group onstage immediately disbanded, obviously embarrassed at their display. The Warblers managed to revive Blaine, although his eyes were glazed over and he was still sort of out of it.

"So….um, anyway" Finn began awkwardly.

"The students seemed to love our performance at the pep assembly. The parents, not so much." Rachel explained, "Principal Figgins limited what we were able to sing to songs about Jesus and Balloons. Then one day Finn asked me for help with his vocals."

"I wanted to be good, like you are" Finn said, hoping to divert Rachel's attention back to herself and away from the direction it was heading. Unfortunately Rachel wasn't having any of it.

"I thought that now would be the time to tell all of you what ACTUALLY happened." Rachel announced before turning to Finn, "I didn't realize this until a couple nights ago. You, Finnegan Hudson, are a hypocrite"

"And how do you suppose that, Treasure Trail?" Quinn asked snarkily.

"The day Finn and I were rehearsing, Finn kissed me, thus cheating on you. Then he dumped you when he found out you cheated on him. Then he later dumped me for cheating on him. Then he turned around and helped you cheat on Sam, thus forgiving you for sleeping with and thus getting pregnant by his best friend. And he has yet to forgive me for just kissing Puck!" Rachel ranted, pointing an accusatory finger at Finn.

"Face it Troll! You just want Finn back." Santana snidely commented from her spot on Brittany's lap.

"On the contrary, Satan." Rachel corrected, "I only want to be forgiven for something that is clearly lesser than what Quinn did."

"ANYWAY" Kurt interjected, sensing another fight on the horizon, "After our fiasco at the pep assembly, Quinn, Santana, and Brittany joined the club. Would you three want to demonstrate?"

Kurt quickly shuffled Rachel and the others off stage so the former cheerios could perform.

Quinn turned around so Santana and Brittany were hiding her. The two then shook their hips, then put their hands together, making way for Quinn to move back to the front.

_Say a little prayer for you_

_The moment I wake up_

Quinn strolled forward with her hand on her heart. All three of them spread their arms out and turned to the side. Then she formed a compact with her hand and pretended to put on some blush. The two others mimicked her._  
>Before I put on my makeup<br>I say a little prayer for you_

The three girls did a rotating body roll so they were facing the front. They rolled their arms over their head and down their body. _  
>While combing my hair now,<br>And wondering what dress to wear now,_

Quinn made a dress form with her hands and leaned forward, with Santana and Brittany doing the same. They brought their hands into a praying pose, then swung their arms out in front of them._  
>I say a little prayer for you<em>

Forever, and ever, you'll stay in my heart  
>and I will love you<br>Forever, and ever, we never will part  
>Oh, how I love you<br>Together, forever, that's how it must be  
>To live without you<br>Would only mean heartbreak for me.

The girls went through a complicated series of hip thrusting, rotating, switching places, and arm movements before ending with Quinn in the middle, with Brittany and Santana flanking her on the left and right, all of them sporting a snide smirk. **(A.N. I got lazy and it's like 5 in the morning so I condensed it…a lot)**

The audience clapped as the girls got off stage. Blaine had finally recovered and took the chance to ask a question.

"So what happened next?"

Rachel was back on stage in an instant, dragging Mercedes and Tina with her.

"After the cheerio trio joined the club, Mr. Shue took my solo away from me and gave it to Quinn. So I asked to use the auditorium to practice."

Before anyone could get in a word edgewise, Rachel began to sing.

_You look so dumb right now,  
>Standing outside my house,<br>Trying to apologize,  
>You're so ugly when you cry,<br>Please, just cut it out  
><em>

Quinn saw Sam staring at her out of the corner of her eye and turned, watching as he turned red and looked away.

_Don't tell me you're sorry cause you're not,  
>Baby when i know you're only sorry you got caught,<em>

Rachel met Finn's eyes glaring at her, returning his intense stare with a burning passion.

_But you put on quite a show (oh),  
>You really had me going,<br>But now it's time to go (oh),  
>Curtains finally closing,<br>That was quite a show (oh),  
>Very entertaining,<em>

Santana starred at Brittany, who had moved back sitting next to Artie, who was holding her close. When Artie noticed she was looking, he glared at her and she glared back.  
><em>But it's over now (but it's over now),<br>Go on and take a bow, ohh..ohh_

_And the award for the best lie goes to you (goes to you),  
>For making me believe that you could be faithful to me,<br>Let's hear your speech out!  
>(but you put on quite a show you really had me going),<em>

Jeff put his hand down on the arm rest. He didn't expect Nick's hand to already be there, causing him to pull away in shock when their hands touched. Both boys' heads shot up to look at each other, before quickly turning away, light blushes on their cheeks.

But now it's time to go (oh),  
>Curtains finally closing,<br>That was quite a show (oh),  
>Very entertaining,<p>

Mercedes looked out into the audience and caught Wes looking her direction. She winked, which caused him to get flustered and turn away.

_But it's over now (but it's over now),  
>Go on and take a bow<br>_

Blaine looked up and noticed Kurt was looking at him. With a sad smile he mouthed the final words with the girls on stage._  
>But it's over now<em>

* * *

><p><strong>Uh oh! Drama for our favorite dysfunctional family.<strong>

**Read and Review. The more reviews I get, the faster I update *hint*hint***


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